Is the age of information detromential or is it positve?

 Usally, I try and look for the good in everything, but if you've seen a common theme in my poast so far it's that I usaly focus on the bad, maybe out of nature, maybe out of force of habit, I suppose that's a thought for another day. But this is all besdies the point.

If your on this blog, your clearly a subject of the infomration age. I've been thinking, or rather pondering about wheter or not the age of information is helping us in our development as a people. Being someone who is naturallt very critcal or cynical depedning on who you ask, I beleive that the age of information or technoology is overall a source of good, though I still feel like it's hurting us in many ways. I've hearsd some would call the changes evoloution I've also heard others would call it de-evoloution. Like every argument, or atleast most arguments this subject is rather gray. I say this because firstly it takes or rather eats up so much of our time, ever since

 I really discoverd the internet I spend just about as many hours awake as I do on a computer screen. And for the record I hate it, I despise it, and I truly am trying to get myself unglued from the screen. One summer when I was about 12, I really was addicted to useing the computer, I must have spent more time online then in bed, it was hurrendous, I flet hurrednous, depressed even. My parents had an intervention, rather silly when you think about it, an intervention for seeping up too much information.

Don't get me wrong, I love the internet, it's just our rleationship is complicated. If I spend too much time with Misses Internet she gets me hooked, and I can't let go. I suppose I have a rather addictive personality. And when I'm down hanging aroun with her and I'm about to head off to bed all I can think of is all the great things I could have done instead of be with her. I want to break up with her, I want to end it, but it's like I see her everyday, I need her, she knows me so well, everyone excpects for you to see her and everyone would just plain think your weird if you don't see her.



http://www.biprofessional.com/2010/07/privacy-in-the-information-age/

http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2012-01-23/news/30655691_1_kodak-wolves-innovations

http://serenkoo.com/blog/?p=35

In 5 years

"In 5 years where will he be"

I often find myself asking this question about my friends and family. Though in all honesty I spend much more time thinking about my friends than my family. And if we're going to be even more honest I think about my future almost obsessively. And it's not because I favour one group over the other it's just that most of the people in my family are either older than me by a decade or are baby boomers. The baby boomers, for the most part, are still paying off mortages and working rather steady lines of work, if there lives, attidude, change even a little bit within the next 5 years I'll be very surprised. There children are either young professional starting off jobs in steady lines of work or starting families, what they'll be doing in the next 5 years is rather obvious. There is a group of people in my family I haven't the slightest clue as to what they'll being doing in 5 years. The group that's future is so shrouded in mystery for me is the group in my family of those who have just graduated from univeristy, or the ones that will (hopefully) graduate from kind of post secondary. Sometimes, when the sun's shinineng bright enough I think to myself "I'm sure if they work hard enough anything is possible for them"

For most of my (inlcudeing my extended family) it's rather apparent to me what most of them will be doing in 5 years as there lives are already tied down with mortgages or families. My friends and I(whom are  all 17 year olds ) look at the world as a place where anything is possible as long as  put our minds to it. I have one friend, confidence exudes off him like some kind of movie star. I often think he will do well in the future, if that is, confidence is a factor in doing well. He seams to have a decent enough head on him aswell, maybe better than mine. He'll do well, he just has to, he's the sort of guy who could be a president if he wanted to. Maybe. Just maybe. I have another friend, he's the absolute polar opposite to my other friend. This friend is a brilliant mind with the use of language but an absolute and complete imbecile with common sense, I often think that he has the very real capacity to do well if only he could find somewhere where he could be natural. But maybe it's just in his nature to fail, maybe he'll fail and rise out of his own ashes to become something greater than I could have ever dreamed to have be, or maybe he'll die in a drug binge. Either way I find myself admitting that I'll still love him as a friend.
And then there's me, I often find that when once outs out his dreams, his aspirations, his wishes that they soon become worthless. I find that the moment I tell anyone of anything I wish, that dream dies and evaporates in the sky. I don't know why I think that, maybe through experience. It's like the moment you say something otu loud it becomes illegitamite, something that should be never brought up again. Maybe it has to do with all the names of the girls I had crushes on in grade school never comeing to fruition maybe I'm just nervous what people will think of me. Maybe I'm a private person. One thing is for sure, I have a clue where my dear friends and family will be in 5 years, but for myself I haven't the slightest clue where I'll end up.

What keeps me up at night (Part 1)

writer's note: I completed writeing this series of blogs many weeks ago, I however suffer from a serios case of the procrastinations. Excuss the order, it seams I deleted the first post and had to republish it after all the others. I like it better that way though, it gives less order to my already unorganized thoughts.

Tonight’s the night ladies and gentleman! Not for a grand performance or anything of that nature but rather it’s a night to blog post! I can’t seem to fall asleep so I’ll be detailing the many reasons why I cannot fall asleep tonight.

Perhaps my thinking about these questions will help you out with your problems. If not, maybe you’ll enjoy seeing the inner workings of my brain. If not, then maybe you’ll enjoy my word use. If not, then maybe you’ll have fun mocking me when I pass you in the hallway. Either way, there’s fun to be had somewhere in this blog.

This leads me to my first question, should I follow my dream?

This one keeps me up at night more than any other questions. The idea of a dream the thought of a dream keeps many people going. Some people dream big, some people dream very little. One person’s dream I knew was to be a zookeeper. You really do have to love the modest. Most people’s dream is to be famous. My dream is……Well I’m not going to tell you what my dream is because once you tell someone your dreams and aspirations they become devalued, it’s almost like once it’s out people expect you to act accordingly. I hate having to live up to more expectations than I already do.

In the field of my dream there is already many people doing that kind of job and it’s almost certain I’d be underemployed or impoverished for many years because of my attempts of following my dream. But the thing is I still see myself being happy, living life like some kind of bohemian. But then again, I don’t have the slightest clue what life as impoverished individual is like. In reality I’d probably pack my bags and come running home to my mommy. That’s what my cynicism says. My heart, or rather the part of the brain that’s optimistic wants to think that I could tough it out.

There’s one other thing, one rather important thing that scares me. I don’t see myself being happy in any other paths that life could take me down. I truly don’t see myself in some insurance brokerage or government agency being even a little happy.

Maybe life has something down the middle for me? Maybe I’ll grow out of my dream and the government agency or cubicle that I’ll show up to work every day won’t be that bad. Maybe my boss will be really funny or something or maybe I’ll fall in love with the girl in accounting. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll go after my dream with all I’ve got. And maybe, just maybe I’ll be living the dream and I’ll wake up with a smile on my face every day of the year. Or maybe, my dream will be a living hell. Life works in funny ways, after all.

But either way, as long as life throws some cards my way, I’ll play.

A Night Of Blogging (Part 4) Passing out

Questionnumber 4+5

My eyes are getting very heavy, I’ve almost run out of tea and I’m just about ready to pass out. This time around I’ll address more than one question. As I’m very close to the point of passing out I’ll do the last 2 questions in this last post.

“Do you think love is worth it?”

One part of me is telling me absoloutly, yes, love is the supreme emotion that human beings have been blessed to feel. The other part of me, the part that’s had its heartbroken numerous times is telling me that no matter how great you feel nothing can prepare one for the fallout of lonlines one feels after a relationship has been gone. I suppose theat’s the question I’m asking, is the high you feel during the first few weeks/months (depending on how great the romance is) worth the absolute depressing low you feel after the break up? Dureing the high one always shouts yes without thinking, during the low however everyone seams to declare that loves is a useless thing for useless people. People like that usally say those kind of things in between checking their ex-girlfirends facebook wall to see what her and her new boyfriend are up to.

This is my final question that kept me up tonight.

“Why didn’t you go out tonight?”

Tonight I had many options of what I could do, I could have done many great activities, and most of them would have ended in me being more than a little happy and full of the drink. I instead choose to stay in and do my homework. I don’t think my friends are very happy that I bailed on them and to be honest I’m not very happy that I bailed on them either. Was this the right choice? I don’t know. One thing I do know is that I truly regret not going out. But the thing I realize is that if I did go out tonight I would have surely regretted going out tonight. So I suppose this was the best option, academically speaking, but socially, probably not.

A Night of Blogging (Part 3) Getting all philosophical

As this nights going along, my eyes aren’t even a little heavy. In fact I’m wide awake. The full meal plus 10 cookies I just ate are probably responsible for that. I hate cookies, their simply too delicious. Now, I’m just getting side tracked. Anyways, in this third section I’ll be discussing the reasons I find why life is absolutely worth it. If you got the impression that I’m depressed from the lat blog post I must say that it’s rather the contrary, I find myself to be a mostly happy man. But like all humans I do have my sad days, I believe I’m just more open with most things, unlike most people.

Question 3 “Why is life worth it”

There’s the big thing and there’s also little things. The big things are great, but you can only sustain yourself of the big things for so long, it’s the little things that really keep you going with a big ol’ smile on your face.

Some little things are found on my walk to school. The birds that swoop down and spread their wings close to you, the dogs that catch Frisbees in mid air, the dogs that follow you around for a little even when their owner yells after them, I always love that. Sometimes, and I know this maysound cheesy but the trees can be so beautiful sometimes, sometimes they can almost drive me to manly, manly tears.Little things also seem to find themselves in the most random ways, ways that you’d never think of. For example a nice sports car passing by, orsomeone you know going by in their car screaming hello to you, even the strangers that scream things out their cars make me smile, it’s always nice to know at least somebody’s having fun. The little things I like the most though are those that involve the things that happen at school, where you least expect any “little thing” to happen. Smiles, when people smile at you or smile back at you, I love it. Either their saying they’re happy to see you or that they care enough about you that they smile at you, either way, win, win. And when I say people, I’m pretty much talking about cute girls. Sounding like a middle school girl aside, having people of the opposite sex smile at you is a pleasure I don’t think many people appreciate enough. Maybe because they don’t get enough smiles and their impoverished of smiles or maybe they have so many smiles they don’t even care.Smiles are fun but hugs are even better. No gender discrimination there, hugs for everyone. Another thing I love is having people comment on my clothes, as shallow as it sounds it’s always absolutely delightful to hear that someone likes the way I dress. Another thing I love about life is looking in the mirror and knowing that you look good.

Now it is time to discuss the big things that I love about life.

Of course romance is up there, I mean, I’m not a robot. Holding a girls hand, kissing a girl, knowing that someone, somewhere loves you is always a wonderful feeling to have. If not, one of the greatest most intense feelings any human being can have. There is also the love one feels through friendship aswell as the love one feels about family. Another big thing is the feeling of accomplishment one feels once they’ve achieved something worth celebrating, I got this feeling when I complete both of the school plays I was in last year. Absolutely marvelous feeling, a feeling I have yet felt. Another “big thing” is the feeling one gets when one is on an adventure whether it’s downtown or in a forest the feeling that I get from exploring new areas makes me feel alive. I suppose the main theme about “the big things” is things and people that you love.

A Night of Blogging (Part 2) What's keeping you up!?

What’s keeping Phil up (Part dos)

This is my second blog post of the night and I have to admit my eyes are getting a little heavy. However, I will fight onwards!

“What else is keeping you up?!” you scream at your computer screen. “Just be patient” I calmly saw to you. I then sip my big sippy cup of tea and continue to smash away on the keyboard. I should seriously learn how to type more quietly but would it be worth it? Is any of it worth it? Is doing this blog worth it?

Is any of it worth it?

Before I begin, I promise you I will not let my whingeing/angst o-meter surpass 2 out of 10 on the Richter scale. I downloaded an app to measure it. So now that you know I won’t complain (too much) you’re okay to read on.

I often wonder if any of this work I do for school or any of these things I do to better myself are worth it. I will one day die, and sorry to be the one to tell you, but you’ll die too. I often imagine where I’ll end up once my schooling is all said and done and most of the time I have a hard time finding why it’s worth it. I often ask whether it’s worth it to commit myself to school and learning so I can be in debt all my life trying to pay out my outstanding debt on my Prius and house that’s way too big for me. It’s rather hard for me to believe that I should I finish my essays and math homework so I can have half of my money taken away from me from my divorced wife. I seriously wonder if I should discipline myself rigorously, attend university just so I can end up poping anti depressants just so I can get through the day. Should I get a 9 to 5 so I can come home to kids that are either to engrossed in their computers to care about me or are so angsty that they hate me for no good reason? Should I work my entire life and still not have any money because I needed all those luxuries that no one actually needs? As I ask myself these many questions, over and over again, I truly find it hard to find any of it worth it.

I look at my parents, and as much as I love them and respect them I would truly hate if I ended up like them. There not bad people, in fact they’re great people, some of the best if you asked me. It’s just that they seem so happy with mediocrity. That what really scares me, that’ll end up like my parents, okay with mediocrity. Okay with an okay life in an okay house with okay kids who write okay blogs. Okay?

I just find it hard to go on, hard to trudge forward if all of this work and all of this time spent is just going to end me up in a place I probably won’t be very happy in.

There is one thing that keeps me going. And that’s exactly what I’ll be covering in my next blog post.

P.S. I totally go over a 2. Pretty sure I hit a solid 6. Maybe a 7, if your emotions are easily ruffled.

Could you be a criminal?

(Picture is actually related)

I don't think it matters whether your actions are moral or not or whether you believe you’re a stable and moral person, I believe that everyone is a few bad incidents away from becoming a criminal. Or rather as I like to put it, I think that every single one of us is a few bad days, or horrible remarks or incidents away from letting our emotions take complete control of us. And when we let ourselves be controlled by our emotions we and me (speaking through experience) can do some really stupid stuff.

Humor me with the following hypothetical example:

You found your significant other; they’re everything and more no scratch that, they’re the most perfect partner you could ever dream up. Everything's perfect and life has meaning. You've bought an apartment together and it's pretty clear to everyone that you’re going to get married some day. Suddenly one evening you come home early from an absolute terrible time at school or work (or whatever you do during the day) and there your lover is cheating on you with your best friend, in the bed you picked out at IKEA or Homesense or wherever people buy beds. How betrayed would you feel? How angry would you be? Do you honestly think you'd be able to control your emotions at this point? Or do you think that when one's world falls apart that they have very little control over their emotions. I would think, in a life changing moment like that, that all rational thinking is thrown out the door and all that is left for you to deal with is the numb, intoxicating feeling of anger and betrayal. You stand there in the doorway full of rage, your palms get sweaty, you feel like fainting, you feel like screaming, all you feel towards your significant other is pure hate. What would you do? And a better question yet, what do you expect out of your worst? You and I probably have no idea what we would do or are capable of doing. I could make an educated guess that most of us would like to think that we're better than those that act and who have given into their rage. However,  I also believe that it's not fair to pretend to know what we would do under such pressure. No human is perfect, and all people are susceptible to crack and breakdown given enough pressure. I could only imagine that when one is  full of rage, that hurting other people would only be a natural response, although it still  should land you in trouble. Given this situation  some might walk away to sulk into the night. Would they  take their anger out on someone else through the act of fighting or will they seek to escape? If you take it out on someone else, such as breaking someone’s jaw who looks at you funny when your stumbling around in your drunken stupor.  There is a very real possibility of  you  getting in trouble with law again. Say, instead of fighting, you feel like you need to escape. But with what? Do you drown yourself in alcohol so you can become numb and escape your problems? Or maybe you take something stronger? You could easily get carried away, get way too intoxicated on any number of things, and end up getting involved in any number of things illegal (i.e. breaking someone’s jaw).  Or maybe, just maybe, you belong to some weird group of society (or rather government experiment) that can control its emotions perfectly well. Maybe you’ve lived your life under pressure, maybe this is no big deal. And maybe you look at this situation, this meltdown and overall collapse of your life, as some kind of a fresh start. Or something that the overly optimistic people say they think about, but don’t actually think about. Either way, until your tested by a moment, an absolutely life crushing moment, I believe that it’s not fair for you to expect any certain behavior out of others or yourself, although man should strive for  non violence. Because hitting that cheating son-of-a-bitch might feel good in the moment but when the police get involved and you have to spend a few weeks in jail, you might realize beating him/her/transgender person might have not been a great idea.

My Grandma had a brother, had a big-ol’ forehead like me. He lived in downtown Toronto during the 60’s. From what my Grandma had seen of her brother he seemed well to do enough, stable enough, held a steady job and everything. One day he was unfortunate enough to come home from a hard day’s work and find his wife fooling around with another man. He was completely broken and shattered like I would imagine any man who loves his wife would have. He spent the next decade drunk on my Grandma’s couch and the  couches of his sisters. Apparently he would often go into the Eaton center in downtown Toronto and fill his coat to the brim with shoplifted things from the store. My Grandma and her sisters demanded he stop, he didn’t. He got in a lot of trouble with the law, much more than anyone expected him too. He died in a plane crash up in the arctic; he was helping chart it for the Canadian government. Apparently he found some girl up there that he had fallen for; she didn’t want to talk to my family. But yeah, he found love again, but only after he wasted away with a bottle for a few decades.

Remember, there’s been a total of 110,000 violent crimes reported in 2008 alone, who’s to say that you’re better than the 110,000 people who gave into their rage? Who’s to say that you’ll be the one to walk away? Who’s to say you’re stronger than my great uncle? In the way I see the world it is my belief that there’s a very thin line separating  me and you from those who have made some very big mistake and ended up trapped behind bars. Although I do admit that some people in prison do truly belong to be there, for the safety of us all.

With all this having been said, I hope I showed you all just how close all of us are from slipping up in life and ending in jail. On the other hand, don’t live your life so safely and mundanely as to ensure that you’ll never go to jail. Yet  being a part of many illegal activities such as drugs, and more drugs, probably isn’t the wisest choice ever. To have a semblance of a happy existence I think a balance must be stricken between these extremes  somewhere straight down the middle.

 Sources:

 http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/11-402-x/2010000/chap/crime/crime-eng.htm